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Jessica Rabbit

[ website | The Damon's Stow Trivia Fellowship ]
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[ archive | journal archive ]

i'm in the midst [Apr. 1st, 2012|11:29 am]
Jessica Rabbit
of an existential crisis. Have been for weeks. Blerg.
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time to move on [Mar. 20th, 2012|07:00 pm]
Jessica Rabbit
I really have to find a path in life. How is it that I am 100% grown up and still have no idea what the fuck is going on?
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life moves too fast [Dec. 11th, 2011|04:36 pm]
Jessica Rabbit
to sometimes seem so long.

Christmas season is always a bitch.
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i bless the rains [Oct. 17th, 2011|04:08 pm]
Jessica Rabbit
down in Africa.

and, eventually, i am going to take the time to do the things we never have.

dammit. why and when did everyone go and grow up. i feel more teenage angst about it now than i did at 17.
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mostly [Sep. 20th, 2011|09:15 am]
Jessica Rabbit
i do the same things over and over

i don't expect different results.

just marking time, it feels like.

i'm sick today. can't even taste food.

the other day i saw an as-yet never been published photo of my favorite recluse. just his right hand peeking behind a doorway... in a peace sign. he IS exactly as i imagined.

i had a long, drawn out dream last night. i remember all of it. the character was called jesse and i think he looked like the kid from breaking bad. but, it was really someone else. i think i know exactly who it was.

it felt empty.

mostly everything feels far away.
probably just he OTC cold meds, though.
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miike snow and vhs or beta all day long [May. 27th, 2011|06:03 pm]
Jessica Rabbit
and others.

gonna teach you tricks that will blow your mongrel mind.
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my husband [Mar. 24th, 2011|08:46 pm]
Jessica Rabbit
is the greatest man in the world. period.
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i never update anymore [Mar. 13th, 2011|02:09 pm]
Jessica Rabbit
sorry any LJ friends or lurkers out there... I just never seem to have the time/energy.

In the two months since I've written...

I passed the insurance exam and got a raise -- but I still make no money. Matt and I are broke all the time and it's not because we spend frivolously (we do buy a little more wine than we should, but Matt gets a huge discount). It's because we make just barely enough to cover expenses and debt (and we have no savings) so when something comes up (tires on the car, giant heating bill because it's winter) there's just never enough money. And I HATE money. I hate having to think about it and worry about it and the feeling of wanting more of it. I hate all of that. But, that's where we are now.

I am studying now for my Series 7 which I am going to take the first week of May. I'll then have about 2.5 months to study for the bar... which I should be allowed to take this summer. That is going to be awkward as hell being in Columbus by myself for three days amongst the class that graduated a year after me... it's going to feel like I failed fifth grade or something. So weird. I am still nervous that I won't get approved at the last second again because of my terrible credit right now. And I only have bad credit because I spent nine months unemployed because I was studying for a test I wasn't allowed to take and no one in Columbus bothered to tell me for THREE fucking months. So, really, I'd like it to be their fault.

If I don't get to take the July Bar, then I think we will just move out west and I'll try again out there. I am getting some really good experience now and our COO said she would help me get a job anywhere. I should be making SO much more than I am right now and I am currently working sixty fucking hours/week.

I hate this feeling that I "deserve" better... but go fucking damn it. I did everything right. I never got in trouble/caught in high school. I studied my ass off. I got through a private high school, college, and law school on full scholarships and with the best fucking grades possible. I worked full-time almost the whole time since I was 16. I see my mother at least once a week, I send birthday cards to my grandma, I wash my own dishes, I clean the lint from the dryer, and I always say "bless you" when someone sneezes. And because I fucked up for two god-damn hours one drunken night ONE FUCKING TIME, I feel like I am about 18 months behind on life and I will NEVER make enough money to catch up what I have lost. It just fucking sucks.

No one said life was going to be fair, and I get that. But if you try really hard and do the right thing and still get fucked over, what's the point of trying that hard?

I am so in a rut right now. Thank god spring is coming. I need to go hiking or something. I just need... out of this stifling work-sleep-work schedule. It's all gray and rainy and cold outside.

Here comes the sun.
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studying for insurance exam [Jan. 16th, 2011|12:50 pm]
Jessica Rabbit
So, I am studying for this insurance exam. It's basically easy - lots of vocab and most of the ethics issues are repeats of law school (don't cheat, don't lie, don't sign your client's name for them).

Anyways, the study materials cost about $120 (after shipping). These are materials ordered from for-profit education centers. They have to be state approved. Once you finish the self-study course, you take a proctored exam with the for-profit education center. Then you take the state sponsored exam.

Okay, these materials SUCK. They are clearly just hastily put together when the laws are tweaked each year. They are missing periods and commas. Words aren't capitalized at the beginning of sentences. Sometimes an article is missing. "When selling annuity to the client it is important client sign contract." That sentence could use more than 1 "the."

It's possible to study it - it's not like it's impossible to follow. It just pisses me off that I have to spend 120 bucks on this CRAP!

Anyways, I take the state licensing exam on January 31. Then it's time for a raise! Yay!

Then it's time study for the Series 7 ... which has even more convoluted rules on getting materials and registration. I think I have to be sponsored by my firm. I do know that I get discounts from our securities broker, so that's good.

Alright, back to studying. You know, after 19 years of schooling, this is getting really old. And, once this year is over and I am (fingers crossed) insurance licensed, securities licensed, and a licensed attorney. Of course, then I will have THREE professional licenses that require continued education. Damn!
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my job> your job [Jan. 8th, 2011|04:11 pm]
Jessica Rabbit
It's busy and complicated and all new and a lot to learn... but it is SOOOOO fucking fun!

In one day I have conference calls with vendors who want us to sell their products, help clients recover passwords to be able to review their 401k account online, plan meetings to pitch to new company's to take over their 401k management, deposit client's $ into the correct account, handle two speeding tickets and another lawsuit, meet with a grieving widow to help her get the family's investments (which are much higher than she thought!) transferred to her name, review estate documents with one client and prepare new documents for another client, explain the court process to a client in the middle of a law suit, write an asset purchase agreement, make sure my boss is up to date on his messages and phone calls, and prepare next month's good-will letter update to the clients.

I am immersed in every aspect of the company and am getting to know all the clients, vendors, people who send us referrals, etc etc. I love it. I am learning soooo much and working sooo hard (and it's only been 1 week).

I can't wait to get my insurance license and my series 7 license. Hopefully, by November 1, I will be an attorney, licensed to sell insurance (which I won't ever do, we just all have to be licensed), and licensed to advise clients on investments!

I am sooooo busy with studying for all these tests on top of working and learning the systems but it is GREAT!

Jess
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